May 25

Fencing: To Quit Or Not

Posted in: 'Maintenance Mode' Times, Maktab Duli

This afternoon, I went to the stadium for fencing training with Tiong, YiChing and WeiHon (Kelvin injured himself during tennis, I think). Well, this whole fencing thing turn out to be merely pressure and burden for me these days, due to the Brunei Fencing Championship which we would be participating in.

YiChing and Kelvin are progressing fast, providing that their group let them spar a lot (spar means playing with full equipments), and they’re gaining experience. Where as for me, I haven’t even spar once, until today (and Tiong was the one who asked the people to let me and him spar). I felt so… isolated and noob there. I hate this kind of feeling. Continue Reading…

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Apr 18

What if I Die?

Posted in: 'Maintenance Mode' Times

A question that pops into my mind all the mind, when I feel depress, alone and etc.

I once told a friend that “I am never lonely”, because I have those I coined as ’special friends’ and ‘brothers’, - my soul mates. Yes, I still have them around, I strongly believe that these friends of mine will never leave me, especially when I am in trouble, and vice versa.

Sometimes, when I am really depress, when I am self-pitying, I tend to ask myself “What if I die?”. Who would be there at my funeral? Who would shed his/her tears for me? Who would feel lost? Who would be sad? Who would laugh? Who would be happy? Who would feel nothing about it? Continue Reading…

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